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Re: and what do you do when... » Dinah

Posted by wishingstar on January 23, 2007, at 20:09:47

In reply to Re: and what do you do when... » wishingstar, posted by Dinah on January 23, 2007, at 18:36:09

I dont know what I find helpful. I really dont. My distress tolerance techniques basically consist of waiting it out and letting it pass. Thats what I've always done and I guess it works. Sometimes I'll go out and get coffee and read a book, or walk around the mall, or something to get me out of my house, which at least keeps me safe.

I should add that tonights breakdown isnt really about Anne. That situation isnt helping of course, but the negative reaction has pretty much passed. In fact, I decided with ginny today that I'm glad she didnt write anything warm or nice in the letter - it only would have raised my hopes and made me feel sad about losing her again. But for now, I feel okay about that.

I guess the problem is that this doesnt feel like passing distress. It's easier if I'm upset about a particular situation/experience/etc, but this is just general. I've been fighting depression for so long, been on so many meds, and nothing seems to help. I've started hating myself more and more recently. I got offered a job interview for a position that is exactly what I want to do, but I havent returned the call. I just cant do it (the job) right now. I truly believe that I'm worthless these days. So what kind of distress tolerance do I use for that? I dont know. Its not just getting through the evening anymore. I wake up and have all the same issues. It's not going away. I just cant keep doing it. I told Ginny once that it's not that there isnt anything good in my life - there is. But I'd trade it in to get rid of the bad. I wouldnt be my friend if I was someone else.

I just dont know. Thank you Dinah. If you (or anyone) can recommend any ways to tolerate this, I'd love to hear it. Honestly. I'm just feeling a bit hopeless.


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