Posted by annierose on March 13, 2007, at 6:51:48
In reply to Looking into the Abyss, posted by Daisym on March 13, 2007, at 1:39:27
You can call when evenings are tough you know. It is overwhelming right now. And it's okay to wonder why no one protected you as a child. It's a valid question that needs attention. Painful, yes, anger, check, hurt, so much --- and maybe a lot of these emotions and questions are pointing at the person that is feeling so much grief right now --- your mother. You want to be there for her, protect her from all this hurt, but is little Daisy is wondering, where was she when you were hurting?
I wish you were able to hold onto your t right now. The relationship is so complicated, sometimes I think it messes up our mind way more than necessary. Maybe that pain is part of the unraveling of our old belief systems slowing falling away --- it's clinging desperately to past defensives while new coping strategies and realizations are forging ahead. Our brain at war.
There was a recent murder in our state that received much media attention. When they captured the husband (that confessed to chopping up his wife while the 2 young children slept) a reporter asked the county prosecutor if they had a motive. His reply, "One can never explain away evil." Isn't that the truth? Isn't that part of our struggle? In therapy sometimes we are trying to figure out, did we do anything that made evil come our way? And the answer is "NO" but we circle that topic over and over --- "if onlys" "I wonder why" etc. etc.
Try to take each day as it comes without looking ahead more than necessary. Hard to do, I know. It helped me last winter when I had too many things going on in my life at work + home + therapy. Have you ever tried simple breathing techniques to quiet the mind? I would sit in my closet, close my eyes and just concentrate on my breath. It only takes 10 minutes or so but it does work some.
I'm here for you.
poster:annierose
thread:740611
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070309/msgs/740648.html