Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 19, 2007, at 8:42:53
Just wanted to send out a little note asking how fellow babblers are doing without their T's.
Maybe you're just on a break (I'm out of T for 20 days) or maybe you're between T's or whatnot.
I just wanted to say hi, and tell everyone how I'm doing right now
It will of course involve a Llurpsielist
1) Feel like I'm in a holding pattern. Without someone to share my deeper thoughts I feel that I have no witness and so I keep on thinking in circles without getting that flash of !insight! that helps me move on to a new level of self-understanding
2) Feel pretty stressed. I'm in the thick of dissertation cramming. I sure wish I had an opportunity to bitch about stuff to my T, and get a pep-talk from her
3) I miss her person. She is comforting and soothing in a way that other people have never been for me. That is pretty special
4) I miss her availability. I miss knowing that if I have a meltdown because of an unforeseen life-stressor that she will be there for me, even if I feel like a complete dumbass for calling her after-hours.
5) I miss the routine. I save up stories and thoughts and feelings to share twice weekly and this has become part of my rhythm. Now I have to journal, or share them with my husband (who may have been Aaron Beck in a previous lifetime, with his innate knowledge of how cogntive-behavioral therapies work
6) I miss feeling good about myself. My T could always find a way to get me out of a mode where I flagellate myself and get all anxious and insecure about my frailties and failings. She could always spin things to make me reframe my behavior in a way that didn't make me a 'bad person'
7) I miss that goofy little knick-knack that I always fiddle with during my session.
hope y'all are doing okay.
I'm trying to avoid taking enough time to actually think about too much. WRite now I'm a writer. nothing more nothing less. I write I write and I write some more. I've got about 50-60 pages in my diss draft. Some of it is even approaching "less crappy" status.
But I still have a lot of work to do, and if I stop and think about it, I freak out. Every single time. Been crying most nights and have upped my klonopin to the maximum non-dumb dose I can manage.
peace to you,
-Ll
poster:Llurpsie_Noodle
thread:742083
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070309/msgs/742083.html