Posted by Llurpsie_Noodle on March 20, 2007, at 3:07:51
In reply to Re: not great *maybe trigger* ? » Llurpsie_Noodle, posted by sunnydays on March 19, 2007, at 10:34:11
Sunnydays,
I'm so sorry about your T's absence. That's really unfortunate. It's okay to be a teensy-weensy bit mad at him though. I mean, he should take better care of himself! He is supposed to be invincible. I don't think that's an unrealistic expectation at all!Secretary-lady was probably in a pissy mood because she's been having to move around all his appts and stuff. Or maybe she hadn't had her lunch break yet or something. Who gives a crap what she thinks about you. You pay her!
I had a lot of very self-destructive feelings before my T left on break. I think part of it was that a part of me was mad at her for going bye-bye and I couldn't stand to be mad at someone who is otherwise so deserving of my respect and warm thoughts. So, I directed the anger at myself. that's the simple version. The more complicated version involves transference and multiple triggers, which I choose not to think about right now.
Do you think maybe part of what you're feeling is misdirected anger?
If so, I'll tell you what my T told me. She said she'd much rather me be mad at HER than to be mad at myself for ____insert neurotic thought here_____
she said that was part of her job- to absorb and work with her client's emotions.
If you're feeling really crappy, you should definitely call your T. even if it's just a sob-fest "I miss you and I have so much to talk about i think i'm going to explode my world is falling apart and no one can help me and now you're injured too and i don't know what to do..."
If he's good at his job he'll help you sort out your feelings and maybe he can also update you on when you can expect your next session.
best to you,
-Ll
poster:Llurpsie_Noodle
thread:742083
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070309/msgs/742383.html