Posted by Dinah on March 19, 2007, at 17:42:06
In reply to Re: a newbie in love, posted by gazo on March 19, 2007, at 17:23:25
lol. Well, when I tell my therapist that I've had a conversation with him completely in my head, and so felt that I didn't need to call him, he'll say that he's sure the therapist in my head is better than the real him anyway. :)
Likely the lovers or parents or whatever else we have in our minds with our therapists is better than the real thing too. I'm lucky to have gotten to know mine well enough to realize that I really get the best part of him. And while I may want that part of him forever and ever, I just as soon leave it on that level.
I'm sorry you didn't get a chance to know your therapist well enough to realize that you'd rather have him as a therapist than a lover.
Today's therapists seem to get surprisingly little information on how to appropriately handle client feelings for them. It's as if the ones who aren't psychoanalytically trained are trained with the idea that the therapies they conduct will be untouched by emotions. Some have the self confidence to delve into it, and the sensitivity to do it helpfully. Others don't really. It might not be his fault so much as his training, if he was mainly trained in CBT or one of the other therapies that are thought not to depend on relationships. Particularly if he knew therapy would be artificially ended.
Did you know upfront that he might be moving away?
I can't tell you how long it took for me to let my therapist know how much he meant to me, and it took even longer till he believed me. I'm still not sure he does.
poster:Dinah
thread:742197
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070309/msgs/742232.html