Posted by OzLand on July 19, 2007, at 0:54:18
In reply to Re: The too good T is too smart too; darn » OzLand, posted by antigua3 on July 18, 2007, at 22:42:10
Of course you can ask. I have really just started to work with my new therapist on csa issues. We got side tracked by some work issues that came up. Today he talked about some possibilities I could consider for the future in terms of work and even retirement so I am not on poor street.
Well it felt to me like he was trying to impose on me or tell me how I should plan my life for the future. I started to tune him out, and he took note of this. It really was a misperception on my part, but I tend to fall into thinking people in authority are going to try to tell me what to do and run my life. So, later he likened it to my csa, and I did not understand what he meant. He said there is a link, and he used a term that can be defined in more than one way but that makes the point. He said it seemed that I felt he was inserting himself or part of himself in me. The picture right away for me was of either oral or vaginal insertion of a penis. I had never thought of it that way, that when a man in particular seems to be trying to tell me what to do, I was being triggered without even realizing the link or connection with csa.
I guess now that I am conscious of it, it will not be so easy to distort. I am not sure how I will react. Part of me wants to cry now, and part of me wants to beat him to a pulp. I don't know if that makes sense. I don't like it that there is a connection between the two, but there it is. I will always be asking myself now when I start to feel some authority figure (male) is trying to tell me what to do (i.e. in a sense forcing himself on me--his view), I will forever have to question my perception and is it really something else that causes me to be so upset, not the person right there right now. The use of the term "insertion" could not have been more powerful.
poster:OzLand
thread:770435
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/770496.html