Posted by muffled on September 5, 2007, at 17:29:42
In reply to Re: tomorrow is the day..., posted by Dory on September 5, 2007, at 17:13:58
> Just very sad. Not a lot else to say.
> Didn't go to work today.
> i want to hide
> i want to just go away**yeah, I get like that, sure feels bad. Isolating. My T says thats not always the best thing to do. She says to try my hardest to get 'out there' when I am like that. But its hard.
>
> i wanted him to care
> didn't expect hugs
> just to care
> to say something caring
> wrap the little bird up tight
> keep it safe*Sorry Dory, is there a link to a thread that says what happened to appt? I can't find it?
> just wanted him to care
> to give a rat's *ss
> wanted him to tell me i'm not a bad person
> wanted him to see the real me and tell me it was ok*well....you sure don't seem like a bad person to me IMHO...
I dunno if we see the real you on babble? Do we? You can be the real you here if not. S'ok. If you are the real you, then I think your OK.
>
> now i want nothing from him
> i'm not sure why i am going anymore*I dunno what to say, cuz I not so sure what going on, whether your getting scared and running, or whether his theraputic style just don't work for you, or what?
> after an appt like this last one i would
> normally be riddled with guilt and afraid
> that he was mad at me. it's a bad, bad sign
> that i am not. i haven't changed, it means
> i don't care. i have walled myself off.*Walls can come down, eventually. I'm one to talk, I am queen of walls w/my T, but I getting better.
>
> what would be so bad about him actually caring?
> what would be so bad about him being gentle?
> am i so repulsive that even he cannot express care or tenderness towards me?*well I'm SURE your not repulsive. I used to think I was a leper....but now mostly I don't....
It may just be that your T has strong boundaries...
And caring has its own sh*t to go along with it...
Is your T CBT oriented?> sad. so very, very sad.
>
**Geeze I'm sorry your so sad, but I am glad you are posting, and I hope you can find ways to reach out somehow IRL as well.
Sorry, I am SO busy w/back to school stuff, and I been steering clear of chat for a bit, so I'm glad your posting so I can 'talk' to you.
Kinda missed having you around here.
Muffled
poster:muffled
thread:780682
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070904/msgs/781009.html