Posted by Dinah on June 16, 2008, at 8:31:41
In reply to Re: Not too happy with my therapist today » Dinah, posted by Daisym on June 16, 2008, at 0:14:05
Well, I'm sorry to say that nothing external needs to be added to the mix. Sigh. It's that important to me.
Yes, I'm sure all those things are adding up to make me anxious. As are more immediate things in my life. But *this* anxiety is all to do with what's going on in therapy. I hate that, and I hate how sometimes therapy makes me worse instead of better. My first impulse was to run for the hills, and maybe that impulse was best and I shouldn't have let myself be talked out of it. I *know* how much I'm affected by it. I *know* that I can keep a certain stability no matter what's going on in the rest of the world if everything is ok within those walls. And that even if things are going well in the rest of the world, if things aren't going well in those four walls I won't do well. What I don't always realize is what "going well" in those four walls means. There's what I know I need, and I attend to that in session. And then there are all those things that I don't really notice in the immediacy of the session, but that lie ready to blow up sometime in the next few days.
It's sick, I know, to be so dependent on such little things in therapy. I really am a tuning fork. Or a great big receiver. Or a mass of sensory inputs.
Last session, I was mentioning that my husband was finding that as annoying as he (my therapist) did. And my therapist answered that any strength carried to excess was a weakness. I stubbornly replied that maybe the problem wasn't that I had too much sensitivity but that others (meaning him and my husband I guess) were lacking in it.
poster:Dinah
thread:834764
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080616/msgs/834859.html