Posted by raisinb on July 28, 2008, at 12:58:40
In reply to The silences., posted by Cal on July 28, 2008, at 12:09:57
Oh, I can't tell you how many fights my therapist and I have had about that! I hate the silences and I have told her so in no uncertain terms. On this particular issue, though, she wouldn't give in.
Eventually we reached sort of an understanding. She asked me why I thought she remained silent sometimes. I said, "to pressure me to talk. Isn't that why therapists do it?" She looked surprised and said, "not all the time." Then she told me that often she felt her words wouldn't convey how she felt, and that she also remained silent because she was thinking about what I was saying and trying to read me.
I still do not like it. If it goes on for a long time, I start jiggling my foot and withdrawing. But I recognize that her reasons weren't the manipulative ones I thought they were, and so my anger isn't so intense.
Can you talk to your therapist about how this makes you feel?
poster:raisinb
thread:842580
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/842592.html