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Re: four weeks off - abandonment *trigger* » backseatdriver

Posted by raisinb on August 1, 2008, at 15:40:48

In reply to four weeks off - abandonment *trigger*, posted by backseatdriver on August 1, 2008, at 12:26:33

Hi BSD,
I frequently have the same reaction when my therapist upsets me, then tries to make childhood connections. I think there are a couple reasons for that. First, it *does* seem as if she's trying to evade responsibility for her actions and the impact they have on me--it feels like she's trying to make it my issue--when she's the one who is hurting me in the first place. It feels massively unfair. I can understand how your therapist's reaction might feel that way.

Second, I have trouble *feeling* anything when I talk about my childhood. Intellectually, everything falls into place when I think about how my issues arose from my upbringing. But if I'm pushed to talk about it, I get bored. I stopped feeling anything about my family a long time ago. I think I must've given up on them at age eight or so, and it's nearly impossible for me to care that much when we talk about my mom or dad. On the other hand, when we talk about my *therapist*, I CARE. I don't have any problem with the psychodynamic focus on childhood, but it just doesn't seem to get me--in particular--anywhere emotionally. Maybe that's the case with you, too?

As for vacations, I agree with the others that therapists need to acknowledge their impact. Four weeks is a really, really long time. I think he might have handled it better.


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