Posted by onceupon on August 1, 2008, at 18:49:56
In reply to talking about your childhood in therapy, posted by raisinb on August 1, 2008, at 15:54:10
I also don't remember a lot of specifics about what I felt towards my parents. What I mostly have is a vague sense about general feeling categories (mostly anger and fear) that I can remember experiencing a lot, but I can't tie them to any specific circumstances.
I guess I'm of the opinion that if you don't feel much for your parents now, and don't have a need to change that, it doesn't really matter how you felt about your parents' actions growing up. That was a little convoluted, but I guess the idea is that what you DO experience clearly and can work on are your reactions to your therapist. I can see the value in psychodynamic approaches, but I think I would get frustrated with them, since I remember so little of my childhood. It seems like you don't necessarily need to know the source of your feelings to be able to work on them.
My relationship with my family has changed a little since having a kid, but it's still a mostly superficial, do not discuss your feelings, do not admit to anything being wrong kind of relationship. I've actually been talking in therapy a lot about whether I want to invest in changing this (especially as my dad's health is declining), but to be honest, I don't feel too motivated at this point. It seems like I worked hard to distance myself from what felt like damaging aspects of my relationship with my parents, and right now, maintaining that protective stance is more important to me than anything else.
I get stuck a lot in talking about my family too. Don't have any solutions for that, unfortunately. Except maybe talking explicitly about your boredom and stuck feelings around discussing your family.
poster:onceupon
thread:843520
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/843551.html