Posted by Dinah on August 5, 2008, at 21:04:47
In reply to Re: Received another letter from my T, posted by LadyBug on July 31, 2008, at 23:23:22
It sounds as if she's not going to give you the validation you need as far how she hurt you at the end. If you return to her for that reason, you may well be disappointed and leave far angry than if you had not gone.
I intend to hate my therapist forever and ever if he terminates me, or retires, or dies or something to abandon me. So I am a complete hypocrite to write this, but...
She meant a lot to you over the years. She went way out of her way for you in ways that many therapists would not. In the end, as she faced retirement, she may have wondered if she did you a disservice. Or she may have had other reasons. You may never know, and that s*cks. The lest you deserve is to know. But, apart from that, she was someone important to you. I think that if I were not planning to hate my therapist forever and ever for abandoning me, I'd likely want to see him one more time to acknowledge all of that. To thank him for being all that he had been for me, all that time. And to maybe put the anger I felt for him at the end into the context of the rest of the relationship.
She said she loved you. She acted as if she loved you. I think she loved you, as best she could under the circumstances. I doubt she's happy to be rid of you. She may be full of tension and maybe even angry about the last few sessions, just as you are. But that doesn't mean she didn't care about you.
If I wasn't going to hate him forever and ever for abandoning me, I'd take the lead. I'd bend my pride and leave aside my anger. And I'd have that moment that could balance my memories of the past months. I would tell him I loved him very much, and he was a good enough therapist/mommy.
But I am going to hate him forever and ever if he abandons me, so it would be hypocritical of me to urge that you do anything else.
poster:Dinah
thread:843171
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/844441.html