Posted by raisinb on August 6, 2008, at 10:03:01
In reply to Seeing my therapist as a real person, posted by Annierose on August 6, 2008, at 8:18:25
Wow, that sounds like such an amazing session!
I experience many of the same conflicts (the only time I ran into my therapist outside the office was extremely traumatic).
First, I *don't* want to be confronted with the fact that she has a real, important (more important than me!) outside therapy.
Second, I don't want her to an ordinary person. Because then she's just like everybody else who's been too blind, too self-centered, or too messed up themselves to help me. Intense transference creates a sort of magical aura. I want the magic to stay.
The other day I mentioned I'd gotten a new pdoc and was seeing her this week. My therapist asked who it was, and on hearing the name, said, "oh! I like x!" This really threw me for a loop. I didn't like that she knew her, and I definitely didn't like hearing that she liked her and might communicate with her.
Though lately, the "magic"'s been fading as a result of my increased self-confidence and our increased closeness. I look at her more and feel affection, but it's not the same as a vague fantasy constituted around a disembodied voice. I guess this is how therapy--at least mine--develops. Inevitably I was going to realize she couldn't magically transform me with her infinite caring. She'd say, of course, that I don't need to be transformed.
This is a rich topic. You've inspired me to talk to my therapist about this.
poster:raisinb
thread:844526
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/844542.html