Posted by wishingstar on August 6, 2008, at 13:56:28
In reply to Re: Seeing my therapist as a real person, posted by Daisym on August 6, 2008, at 13:19:36
I think one of the things that makes therapy work, and makes it possible to open yourself up to a therapist so much, is that they arent "real people" in most ways to clients. I agree that coming to see them as a real person is a useful step in therapy, but I think it has to come after a certain level of trust and rapport has been developed over time and working together.
I think my biggest problem in therapy (currently and with past therapists) is that however it happens, I tend to see them as a "real person" very early in the relationship. Because they feel real to me, it's harder to open up any more than I would to anyone else. I've never really let myself get vulnerable in therapy because therapists dont feel safer to me than anyone else, and that safety is important to the hard work, I think. I want to learn to do it differently, but so far I havent been able to. I think part of the issue is that I work in mental health in the same town so we tend to share general gossip (nothing inappropriate) occasionally about different agencies, and we do discuss my cases (how they affect me, etc..) from time to time, and even though that is appropriate for therapy I think, the discussions do get more professional and draw a different kind of interest from my T than other topics.
I had one T in the past, my first real T, that went differently. It took many years before I saw her as a real person, and even now I dont completely. We do exchange email occasionally and I send her holiday cards.. but I still feel like she can see right through me and I can be vulnerable with her on the rare occasion I do have a session with her. Being real and vulnerable is just expected.
poster:wishingstar
thread:844526
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/844592.html