Posted by raisinb on August 6, 2008, at 16:13:49
In reply to Re: Seeing my therapist as a real person, posted by wishingstar on August 6, 2008, at 13:56:28
<<I think my biggest problem in therapy (currently and with past therapists) is that however it happens, I tend to see them as a "real person" very early in the relationship. Because they feel real to me, it's harder to open up any more than I would to anyone else. I've never really let myself get vulnerable in therapy because therapists dont feel safer to me than anyone else, and that safety is important to the hard work, I think. I want to learn to do it differently, but so far I havent been able to. I think part of the issue is that I work in mental health in the same town so we tend to share general gossip (nothing inappropriate) occasionally about different agencies, and we do discuss my cases (how they affect me, etc..) from time to time, and even though that is appropriate for therapy I think, the discussions do get more professional and draw a different kind of interest from my T than other topics.>>
This is definitely true. When I think about what created the intense transference with my current therapist, part of it is about boundaries. All my previous therapists had loose ones. They'd talk about their lives, their partners, they'd frequently run late, they'd touch me, they'd have websites with links and self-help tips. And, when I was living in Ohio, I was close friends with several psychologists-in-training whom I got referrals from--which means I knew what the therapist was like in a classroom before I saw her.
When I started seeing my current therapist, I couldn't understand why she was so formal and careful about starting on time, not talking about herself, and processing missed sessions/cancellations. But it sure worked on me unconsciously.
poster:raisinb
thread:844526
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080727/msgs/844618.html