Posted by Dinah on September 20, 2008, at 10:02:50
In reply to Re: What do you tell your DH? » Phillipa, posted by Wittgensteinz on September 20, 2008, at 3:09:26
It might depend on the spouse.
My first joint session with my husband was so traumatizing that I didn't do it again for years. My therapist still laughs about it. He says it was one of the most memorable moments in his career. I am always less amused. My poor husband has absolutely no idea how he sounds sometimes. He doesn't get those little therapeutic hints and digs himself deeper and deeper.
The second time was far more successful. It was for the very limited purpose of discussing the decision of whether to move. And my therapist was the most brilliant I've ever seen him. Some people say that they're upset when they see their therapist with their partner, and the therapist shows the same characteristics they do with them. With me, this time, I was taken aback at how absolutely different my therapist seemed. His greater understanding of my husband, and his knowledge of what my husband *could* say if not prevented, led him to say just the right things in just the right way.
I was left both wondering why my therapist wasn't so darn brilliant with me, and realizing that if he was, I'd be all over him for being manipulative and not real enough.
So I'd say it depends a whole lot. There are so many pitfalls. The therapist not only has to handle the situation well, but it also helps if the therapist understands exactly what situation he'll be handling. The therapist has to maintain a therapeutic stance to both people while never ever forgetting that it's his job to do what's best for his client. And the partner needs to be able to be honest without being so insensitive as to... Well, never mind that.
poster:Dinah
thread:852965
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20080920/msgs/853065.html