Posted by Nadezda on January 20, 2009, at 15:23:38
In reply to My bubble has burst, posted by Wittgensteinz on January 17, 2009, at 13:51:13
First of all, Witti, these stages of progress tend to take us to scary places, and we run back to what's familiar, and what protects us from the things we want-- and fear.
So, at one level, this happens. It's bad, but it does happen. Progress is a great thing-- and this is part of the progress-- it's a way of solidifying and reconfirming your commitment to it-- by testing it, making you refind it-- and strengthening your conviction that the old way isn't what you want for yourself. Of course it doesn't feel that way now-- but I think some time you'll look back and know it's all part of the same thing.
Just know that you'll keep on working and fighting your way out. And by all means go to your pdoc! It doesn't mattter what he thinks. What matters is what you're capable of-- and if getting more or different meds, or discussing how to handle this best is good for you-- this is about YOU-- not about him. And what you need, what will help you get what you want, help you move forward. Period.
And please: you are not stupid. Having a hard time intellectually is not a sign of stupidity-- you're taking on a lot.. You'll get more out of going than not going. So please, just GO. even if it feels bad-- it's still worth it. In the long run, if you just muddle through the bad feelings, even with your teeth clenched, you'll be better off-- and able to use this language sooner-- if you just put up with the misery-=- and go.
It's okay to feel awful. it's awful-- but it's okay. You'll get beyond this. And if there's something with your T-- maybe that too will be part of moving to the next part of the work. And you know what? if you give in to this and hide under the covers-- it's okay, too. This isn't going to stop you. It's temporary. And if surrendering to it, is the healthiest, most useful thing you can do-- ignore what I said above-- and give yourself a vacation from all this progress and optimism and hard work. Read a novel, do crossword puzzles, think about camp comfort. there might be a special session for everyone to visit you. I could use a sauna or a great gym right next to my room.
Nadezda
PS I'm sorry if this sounds rushed. I'll try to write later tonight too.
poster:Nadezda
thread:874531
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090109/msgs/875180.html