Posted by sharon7 on January 26, 2009, at 12:50:33
In reply to Re: Afraid my therapist might reject me if..... » sharon7, posted by sassyfrancesca on January 26, 2009, at 12:15:37
> Hi, Sharon: I dislike the words, transference/countertransference because unless we are using the Freudian meaning (someone reminds us of another person, and so we relate to the t in the same way)......we experience transference/countertransference in ALL relationships..simply feelings....the therapy room is the only place we call love....by another name.
Thanks, Sassy. hmm? hadn't thought about it that way. so you dont even think i should call it 'transference' when/if i discuss it w/my t? like you said, it is normal to have feelings for people and sometimes we don't know why we feel it, we just do. and there's no guarantee the person is going to reciprocate. hey, that's life. there's definitely a neurotic component, though, in my case because all my life, off and on, i find myself in these intense (on my end!) relationships with certain females that usually tend to fit a certain profile, but even that's not set in stone. its like i never know when its going to happen, have at times been quite surprised it happened with a certain individual, and have PRAYED it never happens again! also seems to happen when least expected, but then, whoever would be expecting to have those kind of feelings for someone (when you're grown.) I must be getting something out of it, though, or i wouldn't keep allowing it to happen (although I don't THINK i try to make it happen.) maybe i do but dont realize it. its all so very confusing. i evidently have this unmet need from childhood and am seeking (quite unsuccessfully) to get met. i want to quit trying. i never thought id still be having this 'problem' in my mid-40's. I would like to resolve this finally if that's possible. i do consider what im feeling for my t to be different from just 'normal' love though because im not a child and shes not my mother (unfortunately.) i worry she wont want to see me again. thanks again for taking time to reply. i really appreciate it. have a good day. (o:
poster:sharon7
thread:876310
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090109/msgs/876324.html