Posted by Trotter on February 11, 2009, at 19:42:52
In reply to My so-called family, posted by Trotter on January 20, 2009, at 2:03:01
Finally received a response to my letter. My father says he is unable to feel remorse and to say he is remorseful would be hypocritical. He says I need to forget the past and deal with my anger. He warned me about psychiatrists who brainwash their patients into believing things that aren't true. He does not want me to contact the family until I have my anger under control and can be nicer toward them.
So predictable really. But I gave them the chance and they blew it. Seems their need to deny was stronger than their love and compassion. What a surprise! After all, it was their lack of love that was the problem to begin with.
Am I disappointed? Yes. Am I surprised? No. Do I regret doing it? No. Has it helped me? Hmm, that's a bit more tricky. The way I feel now it has given me an excuse not to waste my time on them in future. I really don't need them. This may seem a denial from me, but really, I don't. They TAUGHT ME not to love them. I don't love them. This was an effort to make something of nothing. Now I don't have to be hypocritical about our relationship any more. I can just walk away. I don't have to look after them in old age. F*ck them! I will spend my time with people who do care.
You may be thinking I am just having an angry reaction to rejection, and that I will see things differently at some time in the future. Maybe I will, maybe I won't, but this is how I feel right now.
Trotter
poster:Trotter
thread:875095
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090129/msgs/879520.html