Posted by Amelia_in_StPaul on June 17, 2009, at 21:50:17
In reply to New psychiatrist/analyst can't treat me, posted by garnet71 on June 17, 2009, at 19:55:30
Garnet, I'm really sorry this has happened. In terms of explaining this and understanding it through a psychodynamic framework, Birdsong is probably correct. But remember that this is not the only framework through which to see events, and that actually, psychodynamic theory has been in descendence in the US for decades now. Of all the therapists I've known, have seen, have heard of, one, count 'em, ONE has been a psychoanalyst. The notion that there is such a thing as "buried psychosis"--try googling that term--you will find that English lit academics and film studies academics are some of the only people using that term anymore, because it is a term used by psychoanalysts, and there few of them left anymore in the US.
As a former English PhD and an M.A. in counseling psychology, I can verify that most (98% ?) people in psychology do not believe in any such nonsense as buried psychosis. You are either psychotic or you are not. Yes, there is a BIT of a spectrum, and you can experience, say, quasi-hallucinations or quasi-psychosis, but what you have described is NOT PARANOIA. Not even close. Your former T sounds like a freaking whack job to have said all of that.
I think that what you need now is validation and support--and really, I think that the place to get that is not through more of the same. Please, please consider finding a person who takes an eclectic approach, at the very least.
I think I have told you, but I have PTSD too. I know what extremely disturbing nightmares are like. I also have a family member with schizophrenia. Like me, what you have is anxiety and depression and a f*(ked up family history, not psychosis. Maybe you have PTSD too. Like me, you do not have psychosis.
If I spent a lot of time talking about my nightmares, or my childhood, or my family life, I'd be breaking down on a daily, no minute to minute, basis. I have a validating, supportive, and gently challenging therapist. He is grounded in DBT (a form of CBT), but is probably eclectic. Please consider running away from psychodynamic theory. You need TLC. You deserve TLC. There is nothing wrong WITH YOU. And I am afraid that dredging up the problems you've had with family will destabilize you much, much more than it will help.
I am sending you hugs...Amelia
> Today was our third visit, and he didn't do the blank state thing. I told him more of my history, about my attachment to him/the transferrence. At the end of the session, he said I need long-term therapy, several times a week, with someone younger and that he wasn't going to be around much longer. It felt like the wind was knocked out of me when he said this, and I begged him to let me stay with him, and that he was the only doctor I ever trusted before. He said he was just doing what was best for me. That isn't really a reason though. I asked him why he induced an attachment last week, having me regress to the state of a needy 2 year old, only to decide not to treat me. He said I was accusing him of manipulating me as I left his office pissed off. In return I said NO, I did not think you were manipulating me; i thought you were doing your job and were doing it very well.
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> While that sounds like a rational explanation for not treating me, WTF did he induce a transference neurosis then decide to abandon me? I don't get it. Why not get my history, then decide whether or not he was going to treat me rather than attach me like that. It seemed so cruel the way he did that. This time I did mention some dreams from childhood-the only thing I can think of is that he thinks I have some buried psychosis and will need more time than he thought. And i told him I had intuitive feelings our mother wanted us all to die. My mother said over and over she wished our father dead, and almost let us drown and neglected us while we were being abused. Does that sound like paranoia to have that thought? It was just a feeling and I shared it with him. I also told him I thought my brother had sociopathic tendencies and explained all his crimes, toying with the police, animals, etc. Nothing irrational. If he thought such things, why not be straight up about it and tell me that???
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> He left me a message 3 hours later saying he wanted to make sure I was ok. I called him back, got his voice mail, and said I was ok (though I had severe anxiety) and asked him to refill my meds since I now have no doctor again. Dumped twice in a row. I said I'd call the doctor he recommended, but that I wanted to ask him a quesiton. Am going to ask him if he thinks I have hidden psychosis or something.
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> I told him that I gained more insights from spenidng 45 minutes with him than I did in years with other therapists. I told him how attached I felt to him, and how much I trust him. It really hurt.
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poster:Amelia_in_StPaul
thread:901600
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/901640.html