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Re: I'm so sorry for your distress, garnet :-( » wittgensteinz

Posted by garnet71 on June 29, 2009, at 21:11:33

In reply to Re: I'm so sorry for your distress, garnet :-( » garnet71, posted by wittgensteinz on June 27, 2009, at 10:22:32

Thanks, again, for all your advice. I'm holding off on this type of therapy until my next meeting with the Pdoc/analyst with whom I had the overly-intense reaction. I'm thinking maybe it's not a good idea right now to access all my repressed emotions (though it's all been positive w/this particular analyst), considering I'm trying to get through grad school at the moment and it's not easy.

I mean, what happens when all the emotions surface? Is it traumatizing? I'm expecting it won't be easy. I don't want 'easy', but at the same time, I question my mental stability in ensuing that course of treatment at this particular moment in my life.

He encourages the dependency in all his words, mannerisms, etc, probably not puposely, but there is something about his nurturing nature that is so appealing. I try to make appointments with him, agree to a time, then he always asks me if I have class at that time. I say yes I do, but don't mind missing class, as I have before for other things, and then he says he won't let me miss class to see him; instead, keeps suggesting other times around my course schedule. Shouldn't I be the one to know how to manage my schedule, know what's best for me? From the beginning, he's negated my autonomy. He's told me what I should and should not do, but when I tell him I think I know what's best for me, he tells me what he thinks is best for me and tells me what I should do or not do and stands by it regardless of my wishes to materialize my self-autonomy into the situation. Yet, he was uncomfortable w/my dependency on him. I don't get it.

Regards,
Garnet

p.s. been to Amsterdam once before-the Netherlands are beautiful. Wish I could go back soon : )

 

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