Posted by garnet71 on June 27, 2009, at 7:14:48
In reply to Re: I'm so sorry for your distress, garnet :-( » garnet71, posted by wittgensteinz on June 24, 2009, at 20:27:52
Nice to meet you, Witt, and thanks for offering your understanding. I had referred back to some of the thoughts I had written, and my judgement was skewed; I was being hypervigilant. The doctor was doing the blank state to help bring about some transference to assess my underlying patterns I suppose, and of course, would not expect such an intense reaction. But yes, he's with the psychoanalytic association and has found other doctors for me. I can't even think in the room with him, so obviously cannot do therapy with this person. I felt it on day one, was wondering why I was acting so strange, unable to answer his questions without struggling to find my thoughts. After experiencing so much chronic stress--it really built up though my mood/behavior had not reacted unfavorably from it (unusual)--I guess i had in my mind he was going to be my 'savior' and cure me from discontent. I somehow allowed myself to give him unconditional trust. It certainly was not fair to him for me to put that much faith in him. I do not, however, agree with the way he handled the situation since it was so cold and narcissistic. I do think it made him uncomfortable, i do think I reminded him of a patient he had a bad experience with in the past. I feel bad for him now in thinking what could have happened. The attachment faded, but the transference is still there. It engulfed me just from talking to him on the phone the other day. He is going to help me and is still doing my meds till I find another doctor. Yes, this type of therapy is tremendously insightful for me; I have so many repressed emotions and memories-I can now see why other types of therapy have not helped much. I don't think my insurance will pay for this type of therapy though; if analysts are not open to seeing me once a week, I probably cannot engage in it. I can now see why the patient needs to go several times a week, the intensity and reactions. I'll just have to see if an analyst will allow the limited meetings.
: )
poster:garnet71
thread:901600
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/903439.html