Posted by wittgensteinz on June 24, 2009, at 20:27:52
In reply to Re: I'm so sorry for your distress, garnet :-( » gobbledygook, posted by garnet71 on June 20, 2009, at 21:26:59
Garnet,
I haven't been to babble for a long while. Anyway, I read you posts about the visits to the new pdoc and what came of it.
I feel so sorry for you - I can feel your disappointment and uncertainty.
Of course different people will have different opinions and different needs but I too can advocate the strength of psychoanalytic therapy (and feel a little protective when people assume because it is 'in decline' that therefore it is less relevant in relation to the short-term cognitive and behavioural therapy techniques).
I've benefitted greatly from seeing an analyst (psychoanalytic psychotherapy) for the last couple of years and have never for a moment regretted choosing this type of therapy.
I think something quite extraordinary happened in your case - this sudden and intense transference you describe. Transference is normal in this therapy (I'd say it's normal in all kinds of therapy but is regarded differently). However, it usually develops more gradually. In contrast, I remember feeling some degree of negative transference toward my analyst in the beginning. I remember asking him whether this was worrying as I knew it was irrational (I knew he didn't personally evoke those fears and distrust in me but rather represented to me something that did) and he said early on that he would watch it for a while - I suppose to see how I reacted and the issues that I presented with. A patient's initial transference reaction is an important observation. Later my transference changed for the positive - perhaps in part due to various subtle choices he made in my treatment.
I don't think in your case the therapist had any intention of hurting you or of bringing about such an extreme reaction. I imagine this is just his approach and although he sadly is unable to provide you with what you need this experience has shown you an approach to therapy that has differed from your other experiences.
If this is what you want, then why not go for it? Is it not worth scheduling one more appointment with this man to help you on your way to the right therapist and the right treatment for you? He seems to have gotten himself in a muddle about his references but he clearly has something to offer you in terms of his approach and his knowledge. If he is an analyst then he will likely be associated with an analytic institute. Can't you ask him to put you in contact with the institute or perhaps with an organisation in your area through which you can obtain a listing of all the practising male analysts and psychodynamic therapists?
Now you know what you are looking for, it's just a matter of finding the right person, the perfect match - and someone who will stay with you for the course of treatment - and that's something very important. Perhaps in the future you will look back fondly on those 2 sessions with this doctor as a critical turning point in your recovery. It's a step in a journey.
If you are unable to get further with this doctor then run a search and look up the psychoanalytic association in your state/country and get in touch with them for advise. Where I live, if you contact the institute they schedule a special assessment to see which form of analytic therapy is most appropriate and they will then put you in touch with a suitable analyst (or psychodynamic therapist). There's even one kind of analytic/psychodynamic therapy called 'transference-focused therapy', for example. They should also be able to provide you with a clearer idea of the spectrum of practising analysts - you have the very orthodox on-the-couch 4 times a week blank slate analysts but that is at the far end of the spectrum. Many analysts now see their patients sitting up twice or thrice weekly. Levels of disclosure vary too.
I want to wish you the best in finding the right therapist and I think the way you have dealt with the disappointment from your last visit to the pdoc is amazing - I felt your enthusiasm and amazement after the sessions you had with him and the feeling of finding the right one. Don't lose faith - there will be someone out there who can give you the therapy you want and will be in a position to stay with you for as long as you need him.
Witti
poster:wittgensteinz
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URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/903025.html