Posted by BirdSong on June 20, 2009, at 16:30:23
In reply to Re: I'm so sorry for your distress, garnet :-(, posted by garnet71 on June 19, 2009, at 22:55:33
I would like to suggest you review attachment strategies as I mentioned above for both children and adults. There are differences.
Children's attachment strategies include: secure, avoidant, ambivalent, and disorganized/disoriented.
Avoidant, ambivalent are insecure attachment strategies, BUT, they along with secure are considered "organized" attachments styles. They are predictable.
A fourth attachment strategy was discovered in the 1980s but has a huge implication for understanding abused children and adult survivors. In children with disorganized attachment strategy, we see a complete breakdown and unpredictability in the normal attachment process. Because of abuse, the parent becomes both feared and sought after, which creates this disorganized style. Behaviorally, children act confused, they will freeze, they will do acts that try to avoid parents like twirling, moving their fingers in the air, rocking, they may look like they are in another world....but at other times children will begin acting as the parents (role reversal) such as taking care of siblings, or actually start caring for their parents.If you ask many survivors of abuse, they can recall engaging in behaviors like this. But still wanting to be soothed by their parents.
Thus, you can see where the "push-pull" behaviors that occur in therapy between the therapist and many abused clients develops from...it was part of the attachment strategy.
Some child psychologists consider this a "special phenomenon" related to abuse and not an attachment strategy, BUT with the large number of abused children (and adult survivors), this disorganized style is quite common and generally accepted at the fourth strategy, today.
It has many implications for understanding the impact of childhood abuse on adults interpersonal relationships and behaviors.
As for adults....Adults attachment styles include: secure, anxious-preoccupied, fearful-avoidant, and dismissive-avoidant.While we cannot say that infant/child attachment strategies are identical to adult attachment styles, research has shown that early attachment strategies can help predict patterns of behavior in adulthood. There have been numerous studies conducted evaluating one's relationship with parents and the ability to have a secure romantic relationship.
Good luck with your new analyst, if you are still going.
poster:BirdSong
thread:901600
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/902282.html