Posted by alexandra_k on June 18, 2009, at 10:16:42
In reply to Re: I fired my t » alexandra_k, posted by Dinah on June 17, 2009, at 23:09:50
he emailed me. something about 'id be happy to see you in the future if you change your mind' which is of course an indirect way of his saying 'i'm not planning on your coming in tomorrow i didn't save you a place'. its over. he doesn't mean it. he says 'our relationship is worth preserving' but he won't actually work to preserve it. 'if you decide to come and see me again' 'do you want to see me again' 'i didn't realize that you wanted to come and see me again'... i thought it was my paranoia but turns out that all that... was indeed his trying to dissuade me from wanting to see him again.
and another one bites the dust.
what is it about me such that therapists get sick of me so? 'i wish you well' (get the f*ck away from me). what is it about me?
i know what it is. i don't idealize enough. i'm not grateful enough. i'm not happy enough in their presence. i can't be. thats the nature of my sickness. i can't be. I CAN"T. I"M DOING THE BEST I CAN AND ITS NOT GOOD ENOUGH> AND I HATE THE WORLD SO THAT I HAVE MOMENTS OF PLEASURE MOMENTS OF HOPE THAT PREVENT ME KILLING MYSELF WHEN IT WOULD BE SO MUCH KINDER FOR ME TO JUST DIE: I HATE MYSELF SO
poster:alexandra_k
thread:900834
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/901761.html