Posted by InsideOut on June 21, 2009, at 16:52:07
In reply to Re: oh so stupidly ... » InsideOut, posted by Nadezda on June 21, 2009, at 15:29:43
Thank you, all of you, for your kind words. I must, and I will speak to my psychiatrist.It is true that medication allows certain people to be more of who I am. I needed to be reminded of that. Thank you for doing that. Growing up my mother was actively psychotic and was only certified a couple of years ago after finally being diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia. I survived her onslaughts only because I so desperately held on to the belief that this person doing such harm was not my mother. It sounds odd I realize but I only truly met my mother about a year ago when the medication took effect. My mother died into insanity and it is the medication that has given her life in its entirety. She is the person she should be because of the medication. I do need to remember that. Sigh. There is a part of me, a huge part at that, that wants nothing to do with that world. I do not want to be mentally ill. I do not want to harm others as my mother did. I want to turn around and walk towards the world of the sane! But when in that world I do not feel to belong there either! As Poet said, I do feel that I have completely and utterly failed as a human being. Even as an adult I still feel to be but a product of my mothers madness.
Again, thanks to all. It was truly amazing to see the replies and to read the kind words therein.
poster:InsideOut
thread:902399
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20090614/msgs/902476.html