Posted by squids on December 19, 2003, at 0:56:32
In reply to Re: Adult ADD and drug abuse, posted by Festus on December 18, 2003, at 22:26:29
Yeah I can relate to that. I always was told I didn't work up to my potential and didn't have any ambition. I was criticized constantly for not being "normal". 30 years of that does wonders for my self esteem. I used to be pretty outgoing and friendly. Now I'm a shy introvert, very uncomfortable around people I don't know well. Even though I have achieved quite a lot, I always feel like I haven't done anything worthy and really have a self esteem problem.
Finally getting the ADD diagnosis was a godsend. Suddenly all those things I never understood started making sense. It was an epiphany - "oh that's why I have always been like that" not some chararacter flaw. However years of that has conditioned me to behave in my old ways and changing these will be difficult. My doctor wants me to get an ADD coach to help overcome those habits.
I have finally started on ritalin (even though my doctor knows my addiction history) and it is wonderful. I don't get high from it at all, but my concentration is 1000% better than before. I do have to watch myself and keep taking it according to prescription - the drug abuse factor is always lurking in the background. I did have to try taking a large dose once, but didn't get high, only really jumpy and nervous. So that pretty much solves that. Taken as prescribed works wonders for me. I have no desire to return to my old addictive behavior.
I also have social anxiety and take klonopin for it. Another wonderful med that does wonders for allowing me to function around other people without the self-conscious anxiety. It's in the same class a valium and xanax, but supposed to have much lower abuse/addiction potential. I'm happy with it. I remember a few years back I was taking 3 xanax a day and the withdrawals when I stopped were extremely unpleasant.
The ritalin/klonopin cocktail seems to work for me. I have no urge to return to street drugs, but I am highly funtional like never before. Psych therapy and an ADD coach should improve things further. Maybe I can actually get my life back together...
My only regret is that I wasn't diagnosed much earlier. So many self destructive years wasted in the past.
Apparently many practicioners don't think adult ADD really exists or don't understand it well. I got realy lucky in finding a pdoc who specializes in adult ADD - that's after bouncing around some 10 pdocs who had no clue since I was 17.
It's only been a week on the ritalin and klonopin, but I have very high hopes for the future.
Best of luck
poster:squids
thread:286932
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20031208/msgs/291521.html