Posted by fayeroe on January 7, 2007, at 10:28:49
In reply to Re: Love Conquers All » lymom3, posted by SLS on January 5, 2007, at 16:16:26
> > There is noone to take him. His dad refuses and there is no family on either of our sides here. His choices for this weekend have to be finding his own place to stay or going to a shelter for the weekend. I'm going to provide him with phone numbers for shelters and a 24 hour hotline for narcanon who will assist him 24 hours also. I can't even ask anyone else to take him with the chance that he would steal from them.
> >
> > He has such a good heart and cares so much about me. Until he is ready to go to inpatient care which is obviously what he needs, I can't be around him nor should any other family member be subjected to him anymore. He has stolen money and pawned things from all of us before. I don't ever want to give up on him but I can't sacrifice myself and the rest of my family either.
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> You are probably doing the right thing - for many reasons.
>
> If there has been a pattern of enabling, the cycle would have had to be broken at some point anyway. When it comes to addicts, they often don't turn around until they hit rock-bottom. Some very wealthy people end up homeless and penniless due to addiction. Obviously, they didn't catch it along their way down.
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> Boundaries. You are finally setting some.
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> You are protecting your own mental health. This is critical, and, unfortunately, is incompatible with his being at home.
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> It is difficult to know for sure how he will react to your taking this action. Perhaps he will rebel and refuse to participate in any program. I hope this doesn't happen.
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> Hopefully, you can convey to him how much you love him and that you want to remain in communication with him.
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> He'll be alright.
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> You'll be alright.
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> I think anyone involved with Narcotics Anonymous or a MICA program would tell you that you are doing the right thing.
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> I hope everything turns out OK.
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>
> - ScottScott's message is excellent. As someone who has worked as a substance abuse counselor and had children that abused pot, you have to set boundaries and refuse to enable your son. At 18, if he's smart enough to figure out to steal $100 from his brother, he's smart enough to figure out how to find shelter.
Your plan for giving him his meds and telling him where the shelter is sounds like a winner to me. He will have to hit bottom before he decides, for himself, to change.
It's hard to do, but your plan will help him more in the long run.
Please keep us posted. Pat
poster:fayeroe
thread:720065
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/subs/20070101/msgs/720144.html