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Dr. Bob is Robert Hsiung, MD,
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Posted by LegWarmers on January 3, 2006, at 15:32:26
In reply to I give up, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 14:15:49
its possible his crappy mood has extended to this week. He might have had an emergency, I don't think he is ignoring you. Im sure he will call tomorrow. This probably has to do with him, not you. Dont give up just yet.
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 15:35:47
In reply to Re: I give up » happyflower, posted by LegWarmers on January 3, 2006, at 15:32:26
I have given up. I asked his secretary if he has been in, she said yes, and I asked all day?, she said yes. So he is ignoring me, I hate him.
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 15:39:49
In reply to Re: I give up, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 15:30:29
He had let me down again. He doesn't want to see me or talk to me. What a fake he is. I might as well quit the gym to, I don't want to see that jerk anymore.
Posted by LadyBug on January 3, 2006, at 16:01:03
In reply to Re: I give up, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 15:39:49
I can see why you're pi**ed off! I would be too. But if you have just a bit more patience I bet he will call you back. Unless he's turned into a total jerko.
I'm sorry you're going through this. I get pretty nervous when I call and don't hear back from my T. She's done better about it. The times she never called me back are the times I would get mad,
then past mad, scared, and then back to mad.
So girl, I'm so sorry you are being put through this. He's going to get a piece of your mind one way or the other. Doesn't he get it? What you're going through???? Obviously not.
Dont give up! And let us know what happens next!
LadyBug
Posted by Damos on January 3, 2006, at 16:01:06
In reply to Re: I give up, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 15:39:49
Don't know what to say Happy, and sorry just don't seem like enough. I'm just glad you're here posting with us.
(((((Happyflower)))))
Posted by LegWarmers on January 3, 2006, at 16:37:36
In reply to Re: I give up » LegWarmers, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 15:35:47
> I have given up. I asked his secretary if he has been in, she said yes, and I asked all day?, she said yes. So he is ignoring me, I hate him.
Im sorry Happy :( did you ask the secretary why he hasnt called or if she gave him the message?
Posted by annierose on January 3, 2006, at 16:41:12
In reply to I give up, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 14:15:49
You sound very hurt. I normally don't like to make firm decisions when I'm so upset. It's the first day back to work for lots of people. And even if he did work last week, today just seems more "official" --- back to the office for good. The celebrations are over. I work in retail and today still seemed different for me, even though I worked right on through.
I had a ton of paperwork to complete. Phone calls to make, etc. etc. His day may have been jammed and he did plan to call you when he got caught up. Maybe he scheduled clients back to back with barely time for a potty break. I know you feel slighted, but now you asked him not to call you back. That puts him in a terrible position.
I hope he does call you despite your request to "forget it". You do want to talk to him.
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 16:49:41
In reply to Re: I give up » happyflower, posted by LegWarmers on January 3, 2006, at 16:37:36
>>
> Im sorry Happy :( did you ask the secretary why he hasnt called or if she gave him the message?
>The secretary just gives you over to voice mail, so she doesn't do much except answer the phone.So I know he was there all day and didn't want to call me back just to even tell me he is all full for the week, and can't work me in. I am just going to take my new sleeping pills and go to bed, I have had enough for one day.
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 16:52:28
In reply to Re: I give up » happyflower, posted by LadyBug on January 3, 2006, at 16:01:03
Thanks Ladybug, yes I am totally p*ssed off. There is no excuse not to call me. I called him yesterday and left the message. It is over, he is rid of me. I am not going back for more of this. I never knew a soulmate could be such a jerk.
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 16:53:43
In reply to Re: I give up » happyflower, posted by Damos on January 3, 2006, at 16:01:06
Thank you Damos, thats all I need right now is some support. I feel worse than I have ever felt in my entire life.
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 16:57:13
In reply to Re: I give up » happyflower, posted by annierose on January 3, 2006, at 16:41:12
Thanks Annierose,
I would think after last week what he did, he would know I was already sensistive to his totally rejection. Now not calling me back, what the heck? Can't he stay a little later in the day to call, or even take a half hour lunch instead? I don't think there is any excuse for this. I really don't want to talk to him. I reach a certain breaking point, and I am done. I am done with him.
Posted by Dinah on January 3, 2006, at 17:29:02
In reply to I give up, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 14:15:49
I understand being angry and wanting to give up. I got to that point with my therapist a few times. But I didn't really want to quit. I really wanted him to call me or somehow express that he actually did give a d*mn. And he usually did.
Also, you just made a pretty big decision to tell him about that pink elephant. I know that sometimes when I express vulnerability to someone, or even think about being vulnerable, I get filled with the desire to leave them before they leave me. I don't know if that's playing any part here, but you might want to give it some thought.
I'm sorry that he didn't call you back promptly. That's a pet peeve of mine. And one reason I like my pdoc. I forgot that about him, and he ended up returning my call today so promptly that I wasn't home to take it. :)
My therapist on the other hand often waits until he can talk to me in an unpressured way, and give me his full attention. And since the telephone is not his natural forte, as much as waiting irritates me, I also suppose it's for the best.
Maybe your therapist didn't want to call you until he could give you the full attention you deserve.
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 17:34:20
In reply to Re: I give up » happyflower, posted by Dinah on January 3, 2006, at 17:29:02
Thanks Dinah,
I didn't need his full attention, I just called to see if he had an opening this week. I understand what you are saying and why, I have just had enough with the games of therapy.
Posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 17:35:50
In reply to Re: I give up » Dinah, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 17:34:20
I know it is only 6:30, but I am exhausted and going to bed. Good night, everyone, and thanks for your support. It is nice to know somebody cares.
Posted by LadyBug on January 3, 2006, at 17:41:08
In reply to Re: I give up, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 17:35:50
Seet Dreams HF, that's always my solution........go to bed!!!!!!! At least you don't have to feel the pain and frustrations of a T. that didn't call you back!!!
I'll punch him one for ya!!
LadyBug
Posted by muffled on January 3, 2006, at 22:30:36
In reply to Re: I give up, posted by happyflower on January 3, 2006, at 17:35:50
Posted by tryingtobewise on January 3, 2006, at 23:36:08
In reply to Re: I give up » happyflower, posted by LadyBug on January 3, 2006, at 17:41:08
What a bummer HF! I hate, hate, hate, feeling in limbo so I can relate to your misery. What you are doing is taking matters into your own hands either: a) by divulging the pink elephant because the result of that would provide you with some definite input regarding whether or not you & T could/would ever be together, or as it turns out b) by terminating therapy which is definitely reclaiming the ball for your own court.
I am going to offer a different perspective from most of the others. And I sincerely hope I don't offend anyone. I honestly mean that. Instead of working through it, I actually think it can be a positive thing to reclaim yourself from the throes of therapy if you feel in any way that it is turning bad for you...i.e. becoming a fixation that is more agony than whatever benefit you are getting from it. It is empowering to know that you can look out for your own best interest. If you have unresolved issues there are other Ts, books, and support groups that can all be a means to the same end.
This perspective of mine comes from prior experience as a long term client, an employee of a very popular T, and as a current client in a very supportive & productive T situation that is not consuming. (This current situation is with a female T which for me has been somewhat key.)
Anyay, I hope I haven't pi$$ed you (or any other readers) off. I'm just so impressed by the humor and ambition that you are using to deal with this, and I will happily lend my support no matter how you end up proceeding.
Hang in there!
Kim
Posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 7:02:52
In reply to Re: I give up (a really long response - sorry), posted by tryingtobewise on January 3, 2006, at 23:36:08
I am not working out today, I feel too tired, and I don't want to run into Dr. *sshole. I think I will go later to the gym when I know he won't be there. It would just be too painful to see his face right now, especailly if he ignores me. I can't take the rejection. He has really hurt me and I don't know what to do with the pain. Why is he doing this to me? What have I done to make him want me to hate him? I am so confused.
I really thought we had a good relationship. But I guess he was right he is a good liar, like he said. He has lied about everyhting. He doesn't want to work with me and doesn't even like me, he can't pretend anymore. He just wants to bag me up and take me to the curb so the trash people can haul me away to the dump. I have never felt so rejected in my life.
Posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 10:26:23
In reply to 12 hours of sleep and I feel worse, posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 7:02:52
He left a message saying he didn't know he was suppose to call back if he didn't have any appointments, umm, I called twice asking, even saying that I didn't think he got my first message. Now why would I call 2 times and not expect him to call me back and at least let me know that he is full for the week. Or even say, hey, I am full, but if I get a cancellation, I will call. I told him yesterday to leave me alone, then he calls the next day?
Then he says he hopes my frustration isn't from him not calling is the reason I cancelled my appointment next week. Then he says we can reschedule and that he hopes we can continue. I just don't think I can open that book again. Too much pain, and for somebody who isn't even real and doesn't really want to work with me. I think it is better for us not to work together anymore. :(
Posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 10:27:13
In reply to :-( So sorry its hard.((((((Happyflower))))))):-( (nm), posted by muffled on January 3, 2006, at 22:30:36
Posted by Dinah on January 4, 2006, at 10:40:08
In reply to He called this morning while I was sleeping, posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 10:26:23
What makes you think he doesn't want to work with you anymore? Did I miss something?
Posted by Voce on January 4, 2006, at 11:40:36
In reply to He called this morning while I was sleeping, posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 10:26:23
Even if you DO quit with him (not saying you should) don't you think you should maybe go in and have it out with him and maybe even hear what he has to say for himself, however pitiful you think it may be? Having gone through the sudden termination thing twice now, I know I would have killed to be able to have a session in which I could really lay bare all my feelings. Going and seeing my female T 10 months after my sudden termination with her really helped me put closure on that situation.
Even if your T is a jerk and doesn't want to work with you anymore, I really think you ought to go see him once more just for your own edification.
But I don't think he wants to be done with you yet. I just have this feeling. I hope you go see him, I really do.
(((((happyflower))))
Posted by antigua on January 4, 2006, at 11:41:41
In reply to Re: He called this morning while I was sleeping » happyflower, posted by Dinah on January 4, 2006, at 10:40:08
Well, I'm going to go ahead and stick my two cents in here. HF, try to go back and see him, at least to finalize things. Listen to what he has to say and call him on anything that doesn't seem right. So much of therapy can be about the relationship between the two of you, and you have hit a tough spot. If you get through it to your benefit, you will have made a big leap.
good luck,
antigua
Posted by sleepygirl on January 4, 2006, at 11:51:04
In reply to He called this morning while I was sleeping, posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 10:26:23
My 2 cents also is to see him, let him know. You're going through so much of this by yourself, and he should know your side. I'm sorry you're hurting. Take good care.
Posted by LadyBug on January 4, 2006, at 15:05:18
In reply to He called this morning while I was sleeping, posted by happyflower on January 4, 2006, at 10:26:23
HF
I know just how you feel and I know what I'd be thinking...........to he** with him!! He hurt me and I won't let him hurt me any more!! If you go back, will it hurt you more??? If you don't go back, can you live with the ubrupt ending the rest of your life???? Is therapy just a bunch of crap to get your heart professionally broken??? I would say yes, most of the time. I'm too attached to my T. to leave. I'd rather deal with the hurt than to not see her anymore. It's a catch 22!! You can't seem to win!! It hurts either way.
Our T.s become so important to us so when they do something that hurts, the hurt magnifies many times!
I'm so sorry for your pain. Move on, get over it, or go back and try to work it out. Those are your options. I can't tell you what to do, either optionwould hurt like he** to me!!!
Keep us posted and best wishes with your decision.
LadyBug
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