Posted by jay on April 30, 2002, at 17:35:49
In reply to Re: LSD and Antidepressants.. » jay, posted by IsoM on April 29, 2002, at 17:59:21
> Jay, I read your post earlier but didn't feel ready to comment - today I feel strong enough to mentally compose what I'd like to say.
>
> You're probably young enough to want to have some extra fun at these concerts - and I understand as I did the whole lot when young & silly. It never occured to me then that any of this could actually alter my DNA or seriously affect my body chemistry. Hey, I never asked questions - just took the stuff & enjoyed.
>
> I can't say how many times I dropped acid - not like Leary but I've done lots - mescaline, STP, MDA, speed (once only) & all the hash & weed there was. Many days, I was stoned fromwaking till sleep. Strangely, I think I've come out of it all unscathed. (yeah, I know I have problems but they were there before I took drugs.)
>
> But of all the drugs I took, I still remember my favourite - speed. It was because it alone felt SO SO GOOD, that I was scared to ever take it again as I knew it was highly addictive. Why was speed my favourite? Cause it was the only one that made me feel "normal". I felt focused & clear-headed on it. Now that I'm a lot older, the clear-headed, focused mental state is the one I prefer. It was the only time that I felt like I was in control of myself totally. I'd rather enjoy myself now with my full faculties, not fuzzed out. Yeah, the hallucinations were awfully pretty, & the perspective on things was mind-blowing, but I can do all that now ('cept the hallucinations) without drugs.
>
> As all the others have said, the setting, the moods & company of your companions, & your own mental state is everything. Screw up one of those & a happy high can become a real 'bummer' in no time at all.
Hmm..sounds a bit like you where self-medicating with the speed. As I recall, you had ADD, right?
Activating drugs never did alot to me...never bothered with the likes of coke or crack. One drug I was tempted to try a second time was smoking opium. Ya, the neddleless heroin, but I absolutely knew it would become a daily habit...I *just* knew. I have also never done ecstasy, and this was the only drug I ever feared, more than acid, just because I had seen friends with the 'hangover'...and knew somebody who slipped into a suicidal depression after casual use.This is all individual of course, and that is what the "War on Drugs" people don't seem to get. I certainly don't regret my experiments, but at this point in time, I maybe should hold off until I become a bit more stable. I thought I was doing well, but the past week has been a hell for me, and thinking about these things, it just doesn't seem I should f**k around with my fragile mental health. Mind you...I will still go on to enjoy pot and hash, esp at friends or parties, but I am not getting younger...I am 32, and I have responsibilities that I didn't have 10-15 years ago.
ANyhow...thanks for your reply!
Jay
poster:jay
thread:104235
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/20020425/msgs/104562.html