Posted by sadone on October 1, 2007, at 3:23:16
In reply to Re: Binge Eating » sadone, posted by Racer on September 30, 2007, at 13:17:01
Ah yes Melbourne - great for shopping...
I have had years of anorexia - and then binging - then periods of yo-yo followed by anorexia again. I am just finding that at 34yo I have wasted so much time with depression and eating disorders. When I feel really fat and ugly I shut everyone out of my life, I am at the stage where I have no-one left - no surprise really. I have lost hope of things getting better "one day". I have been on meds for the last 16 years - the latest addition from my pdoc (candy man) is Topamax - this is great for cravings in binging, but I get so sleepy on it I can hardly do anything. I now just binge regardless of cravings or not. I am black or white in my world. Starving or Binging, when I am starving I like myself more, the addiction to the high from starving that always draws me back into anorexia when I want to hide from the outside. I am done with it though, cant be bothered anymore and can no longer keep living pretending that it is ok, it gets so exhausting and consuming, I already regret loosing so much of my life already and cant see it changing. I wasted over $60k yes - that is $60,000.00 on lipo when I was unable to stop binging and sadly the only reason I didnt keep going is that I had to declare bankruptcy - hence my run from Oz to Canada...
guess I can take a new paragraph somewhere...
I know what you mean when you say that you are punishing yourself, I feel the same, why is it that we just cant stop?
will let you take a break...sorry for the epic rant.....
will go and dream of white sandy beaches and sidewalk cafes in Melbourne
poster:sadone
thread:784597
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/eating/20070820/msgs/786196.html