Posted by ClearSkies on November 29, 2007, at 14:51:56
In reply to Re: Fighting to esteem » ClearSkies, posted by jammerlich on November 29, 2007, at 14:32:53
Well, I fought off my demons for several days, at least, but as Antigua forewarned on a thread on the Social board, I succumbed to my addiction.
Gahh, it looks awful up there in black and vanilla. And it was 3 drinks. I grimaced, but I didn't stop. I was at that lowest point, and by myself (big danger for me) and there was all this freaking booze left over in the house, so I drank some of it. Ordinarily, we never have anything in the fridge or in the cabinet, but right now we're stocked to the gills. Only drank enough to feel extremely guilty and get a headache, but I swear, I had to beat myself up some more, ya know?
A slip, as they say. Something to make you feel even more like a loser than you already do (and it does, and I did). DID. I'm OK, back on track. Like some remnant of a sick ritual that serves no purpose except to make myself hate myself even more. So, thanks for that.
I really do hate myself right now. I suppose this will pass, but it's a very familiar feeling.
poster:ClearSkies
thread:797327
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/esteem/20071011/msgs/797636.html