Posted by ruby on July 6, 2003, at 21:19:06
boy i'm hesitant to discuss this but its something i've wanted to discuss for awhile, so here goes.
when i started seeing my t, i saw him as a body/energy worker. my friend, who is a masseuse was working with him and recommended him. he was doing this kind of work in his small studio apt.--not unusual here in the city. then after about 2 years, he did a major renovation, combining two apts into an office and an apt. for awhile we were displaced but then when the work was done, we went back to working in the apartment part of his set up, doing body/energy work.
well, that stuff got so intense, we couldn't do it any more and began to work in a much more traditional therapy way, which we've been doing for about 2 years now. and he really is a GREAT therapist.
so here is the weird part: we continue to meet in his apt and not in his office...so when i am in session i am always staring at his bed, which is right behind him. weird, right? i've mentioned it to him as being weird, especially as we are beginning to discuss sexual issues, and he said of course it is weird...but didn't offer to move our sessions into his office.
i don't feel scared at all; i feel very safe with him but it does bother me to be staring at his bed all the time...especially since he just recently revealed to me he was married, that he had gotten married two years ago while i was working with him and i never even knew. boy have i felt jealous of her. btw, she mostly doesn't live with him in this space as she has a house in the suburbs and that is where he goes on weekends..
anyway, occasionally when we've had to change our appts. we have met in his office office (not his living space) and he wears different clothes, different shoes--and our time is limited to 50 minutes and i go out a different door so i don't see whoever is waiting to see him next.
when we meet in there, i miss meeting him in his apt. b/c i feel special there and i miss all the cool stuff he has set out on his coffee table--stones and feathers and stuff like that which i usually touch and move around or hold. so i like being there...i just don't like his bed there. i almost want to buy him a screen so he can set it up between him and his bed--but then i know i'd manage to peek at his bed anyway.
okay, so is this way to weird? anybody else have any experiences like this? one more thing--he has kept his fee incredibly low for me--basically whatever i pay is okay with him, which might mean $20 or $5...when i got up the courage to talk to him about that, he said not to worry...that he takes on a few patients that way and that other patients he charges $200 a visit...and that is his concern.
he's an amazing guy and therapist (he's also an rn) and mostly i think that there are always going to be weirdnesses in any relationship, not to mention ts and pdocs. (don't let me go one about my pdoc, that is another long story, but she is excellent too).
anyway i know this is long and rambling. just wonder if any of you have any thoughts about this situation. i'm not thinking of leaving, though i am thinking about asking if we could move to his office--but would that change things and would i be less special and would i have to pay more and would he wear his dress-up clothes and would our sessions have to be only 50 minutes.......yikes! LOL!!!
poster:ruby
thread:239748
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20030529/msgs/239748.html