Posted by Dinah on March 5, 2004, at 12:50:04
That may sound paranoid.
I was talking to my therapist today about my perception that he's always annoyed with me about something. And he trotted out all the usuals. That he only gets annoyed when he thinks I'm doing something that isn't in my best interests (but admitted to having buttons that can be pushed when I pressed him). That our relationship is bigger than my anger or his anger (his personal favorite - it's a goal of his to teach me that anger doesn't have to be relationship ending).
But he used a newish one today - one that I've certainly read often enough. That this was the one relationship in my life where I didn't need to worry about pleasing him or if I made him angry. And it made me wonder.
I know the putative reason is that this is the one relationship where the focus is completely on me and my needs. And the only needs of his I need to worry about is his need to be paid.
But I wonder, is part of the reason also because the therapeutic relationship is at heart an as-if one? That because it isn't based on genuine feelings on the part of the therapist, then I don't need to have him like me or not be angry with me because those things really can't jeopardize the relationship. Because the relationship isn't based on positive feelings on his part anyway. (Although I think positive feelings on the client's part are close to essential).
Am I being overly sensitive here?
poster:Dinah
thread:320672
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040303/msgs/320672.html