Posted by karen_kay on July 21, 2004, at 12:15:15
In reply to recovered memories...?, posted by pretty_paints on July 20, 2004, at 12:07:24
i decided since today's not really better, why ruin a good day in the future, right? (and thank you b2c for the concern. it's appreciated dear.)
you know, the first day i starteed therapy, the first thing i said wsa 'say what you will about my mother, but my father was a saint.' i meant that in my heart too. i must have forgotten that he abused my older sister. i must have forgotten that when i did it, i knew he did it. i still don't remember what happened for most of my childhood. i'm glad for that. if i see a picture of myself as a child, i can't tell you if i'm 3 or 10 in that picture. but, there are some things i remember. i'd really rather not go into details. (if you think it'll somehow help you though, i will.) and i've often had dreams about my father. i started remembering pretending to be asleep at night.
can i stop for now? for me, i lost much of my childhood memories...most actually. i couldn't relate to that little girl. or maybe i still feel like thta little girl? and i as an adult wsa afraid to close my eyes in the shower. and was afdraid to go to sleep, not just because of the dark, not just because of the nightmares. adn i was afraid something was coming to get me. i was always afraid.
honestly, i had no idea in the world this was what it was. i wish to god it still wasn't. but, i undcerstand you looking for a reason for what's happening. i hope you find the answers you are looking for sweetie.
poster:karen_kay
thread:368257
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040716/msgs/368619.html