Posted by daisym on September 14, 2004, at 11:40:10
In reply to I'm a broken record ****TRIGGER****, posted by crushedout on September 13, 2004, at 21:25:03
crushed,
What has changed so that you find yourself back here? Something shifted...and seems to have shifted back. That might give you a clue.
I think the suggestion of a Pdoc who can do therapy is a good one. You need some perspective on this. My best guess is that your T fills a huge void in your life and until you figure out how to close it up and get it met some other way, you won't get through the transference. I also think that it isn't all transference. You've developed real feelings for her and unrequited love is about as painful a thing as anyone can go through. It does happen. If there is any emotional develop arrest (think teenagers) it can be even worse. But the only way to get "over" it is to move past it. Time does help heal, but not if you are retraumatizing yourself over and over again. It is another form of SI I think...continuing to torture yourself with what you can't have.
I wish I could hold you until the pain eases off. You really sound like you could use that. Make sure you are taking care of your wounds and not doing too much. It would be better to write, write write here, than cut.
Hugs from me.
Daisy
poster:daisym
thread:390499
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040911/msgs/390659.html