Posted by crushedout on September 15, 2004, at 18:29:51
In reply to Re: I'm a broken record ****TRIGGER**** » daisym, posted by BigFish on September 14, 2004, at 14:46:44
BigFish,Yes. Of course. It totally resonates. It does not make sense to me, on a really visceral level, to try to "work through" my feelings of LOVE. and it does not feel the least bit therapeutic. It just feels like torture and needless pain.
So, the big question is: what the **** do we do? (And is it possible that it actually *is* therapeutic even though it doesn't feel that way?)
> I'm sorry you're feeling rotten. I'm in a similar situation - I'm nuts about my therapist. DaisyM brought up a point that I really agree with - it is possible to develop REAL feelings for one's therapist. Over the last 8 months that I've been in therapy I've come to know the essence of who my therapist is as a human being. Obviously, that doesn't include details of his life but it is enough to know a lot about who he is as a person and enough to know that I like him for who he is, not for who he might symbolically represent to me. The idea that I'm going to talk to him about "working through" my feelings for him and thereafore "get over" him seems completely and totally ABSURD! The idea that participating in that process would somehow be theraputic is absurd. Having my heart broken is somehow therapeutic? Ridiculous. It seems that I either decide that I can deal with the torturousness of the situation or leave. Does this resonate with you at all? I apologize if this seems all about me - but I wanted to share my perspective on it with you and ask you if you think you might be having a similar exerience. I feel so d*mn alone in this.
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> > I also think that it isn't all transference. You've developed real feelings for her and unrequited love is about as painful a thing as anyone can go through. It does happen. If there is any emotional develop arrest (think teenagers) it can be even worse. But the only way to get "over" it is to move past it. Time does help heal, but not if you are retraumatizing yourself over and over again. It is another form of SI I think...continuing to torture yourself with what you can't have.
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poster:crushedout
thread:390499
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040911/msgs/391199.html