Posted by gardenergirl on September 17, 2004, at 23:51:18
In reply to Re: Opinions and support, posted by Passerby on September 17, 2004, at 22:05:30
Passerby,
I appreciate your addressing at least part of your post directly to me, as I am the "original poster" you have been talking about. I guess I thank you for your concern about my well-being as I'm sure it comes from a warm place in your heart. ;) But I have to admit that I was jarred by your post in that a seemingly perfect stranger appeared to be commenting on my truth. But nevertheless, that is the situation we find ourselves in, and it is unfortunately not an unfamiliar one. Perhaps it is also familiar to you?> I simply tried to offer a viewpoint that was not being discussed.
To clarify your statement, what you offered was not being discussed IN THIS THREAD. That certainly does not mean that the topic has never been discussed on Babble, IRL, or even thought about before. My original post was clearly a venting of my frustration at wanting to continue the momentum of my therapy and encountering an obstacle which I COULD interpret as personal. As others such as Daisy and Dinah have expressed so eloquently, what I was doing was voicing what IS a part of my authentic true self, even though it may appear regressive or too primitive for the comfort of certain others to hear. Thus, I saved expressing my frustration for this safe place.
>What I mean is that I thought it was worthwhile to simply remind gg that her therapist is human. It seemed to me she was almost giving her therapist "superhuman qualities", thus intensifying her feelings of transference, not reducing them (which, silly me, I thought that was the point).
I have to admit, I see no evidence of my projecting superhuman qualities on my T. He was sick, and I was upset that his illness interfered with my opportunity to continue the important work I am doing. I was responding totally from a place of my own feelings which I believe I even "owned" in the post. I certainly did not blame him for getting sick or believe that he should not. And it depends on what stage a client is in in their therapy journey whether transference feelings should be intensified. I'm also not sure that transference feelings can be "reduced" per se. I think the feelings themselves can lose their charge once worked through. But I don't think that diminshes the feelings themselves. But that is a semantic point.
>Or put more plainly, I guess in some ways, the responders were helping her make mountains out of molehills. And, in my world (which if you want some sharing about me, is also a very highly functioning) of finance - mergers and acquisitions and investments, to be specific - is not something that is valued. The idea is to make things simpler not more complicated.
In my world, one in which my special and precious trait of sensitivity is often denigrated as weak or unvalued, upsetting events ARE mountains to me that appear as molehills to others. Being highly sensitive means that I process stimuli on a deeper level than approx. 80% of the population. I view this as both a gift and a burden. The burden is the extra pain it can cause, as well as the stigma and judgement that often comes from an individualist society. So, by offering support to me, the Babblers were not enabling a dysfunction to continue, they were validating my true experience. I took their responses as they appeared to me: warm, loving, supportive, and as lighthearted or serious in tone as appropriate to the topic. Perhaps it is because I know them well and/or process their posts in my own sensitive way that I perceive them as such.
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> I do not undermine the value of a message board like this but I do think that for the topic of transference, the constant talking about it, public worrying about it, and perhaps even sympathizing about it may, in fact, make it worse. THAT IS THE REALITY CHECK I WAS OFFERING. It might not feel quite as supportive. But it also attempts to help people see things from a different perspective, which can be just as useful.Um, here I think you might be projecting topics and contents from other threads onto mine. I may be wrong, as it's been awhile since I've read all the posts, (I guess I'm flattered that you renewed my thread) but I don't think transference was the main point of this thread.
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> Perhaps some people realize that somewhat minor issues, like one or two cancellations, are being debated as if they were issues of world peace. And maybe, just maybe, that does not quite make sense to them, when viewed from a different perspective.I can certainly see how it may appear this way to someone unfamiliar with Babble and with my own truth. Of course you ain't seen me debate whirled peas. That's a sight to behold. You wanna see a mountain...
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> Garden Girl - Good luck and I hope you find peace with your therapist.Thanks for your well wishes.
Regards
GardenERgirl, aka gg
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poster:gardenergirl
thread:388031
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20040911/msgs/392203.html