Posted by shrinking violet on October 26, 2004, at 17:00:50
In reply to Re: Update » shrinking violet, posted by Rigby on October 26, 2004, at 16:05:28
>> Hi S.V., Thanks for your message. May I ask how long you've been out of your situation?
It will be two weeks tomorrow since our last session. I emailed her that night that I thought we should end things, but she emailed me back and asked me to think about it and try again; quitting as a reaction to an unpleasant session is nothing new, and I think she figured I'd eventually go back, just like the other times. Then last Thursday I emailed her one last time and finalized it. That's the last contact I've had with her. :(
>>And how are you feeling without this therapist in your life now?Well, as I mentioned, it's still very new, so I'm still hurt and confused and saddened by it all. It's more confusing because, as two people, we seemed to have a strong connection and a genuine caring and liking for each other. But, therapeutically, we just didn't mesh at all. I don't even really miss the therapy (in fact, this experience has just pretty much confirmed my suspicions about therapy all along), but I really miss her a lot, and it's hard not really having had any closure after over a year with her. It seems to hurt more each day, instead of less.
>> For me, I think my therapist has cared but I also think she had judged me harshly. It's hard to integrate the two realities.Yes it is hard when there's such a dichotomy in the relationship. I know my T cared as well (maybe too much), but she is who she is, just like I am the way I am, and if she had problems with MY silences and MY reactions, then how could I ever change with her? It's hard to swallow though...I still want to blame myself totally and it's hard to believe that she played a role in this too.
Have you thought as to whether you will try again with this T? Or another?
poster:shrinking violet
thread:406744
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/407580.html