Posted by fallsfall on October 31, 2004, at 10:35:40
In reply to How to fire my T -- please help me brainstorm, posted by crushedout on October 31, 2004, at 1:15:22
Hi Crushed.
You said: "I've never felt more sure that it was the right thing to do."
Repeat this 10 times, three times a day. "Make" something with these words on it - a painting or something you make on the computer or go buy a block lettering stencil and then color in the letters or form the letters out of clay or make a necklace with the saying in the beads. The point is to spend a couple of hours getting used to this idea, feeling comfortable with it, even making it more "public" (though you don't have to show it to anyone). Invest some time into solidifying this idea.
One of the best things I did when I switched therapists was to have my new therapist lined up before I fired my old one. Have you talked to any therapists who you would consider switching to? Can your ex-boyfriend give you a referral (or connect you with on of his collegues who *could* give you a referral)? I strongly suggest that you don't have a blowup with her without having a place to go to process this. This may mean that you need to cancel a few sessions with her until you have a replacement lined up.
She has shown in the past that she will not be supportive of you looking for a new therapist (and that, in itself, is a warning sign). You have tried to get her agreement many times [how many?] in the past, and she does "talk you out of it". Yet you keep coming back to the same place. And your (knowlegable) ex-boyfriend recommends strongly that you leave her. I don't think that you can even hope that she will help you with this transition. It is something that you will need to do in spite of her.
I believe strongly in working things out with one's therapist - in having that last session to wrap things up, etc. Yet, I *DIDN"T* do this with my old therapist. I fired her by leaving a message on her voice mail. I agonized about whether I should go back for one more session (and I still think about it sometimes... more than a year later). But, Crushed - you HAVE tried to work this out with her. You have been amazing in your tenacity. You don't "owe" her anything - you need to do what is right for you.
Let me know how I can help (Did I send you my notes on the various therapists I interviewed when I was switching?).
Falls.
poster:fallsfall
thread:409442
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/409529.html