Posted by crushedout on October 31, 2004, at 11:08:00
In reply to Re: How to fire my T -- please help me brainstorm » crushedout, posted by fallsfall on October 31, 2004, at 10:35:40
Thanks to both of you, falls and Annie, for your posts and wise advice. I think you both make excellent points.Everything's constantly changing. It's like a freakin' roller coaster ride and I can't get off the dang thing. This morning when I checked my email, I found a kind message from my T. I had emailed her on Friday right after putting my kitty to sleep and then again on Saturday, apologizing for having been so melodramatic on Friday. As the days went by and I didn't hear back from her, I think I was growing increasingly angry at her because I was assuming she had gotten my emails but just didn't care enough to write back. That, on top of everything else, inspired the rage I was in last night when I wrote that post.
So, when I got her nice email, my anger melted away somewhat, and I felt pretty scared that I was going back to the stuck place I've been in for G*d knows how long with her. And that I was gonna let you all down, which I hate doing. But a lot of the stuff I wrote last night (all of it?) was true, and I can't just forget about it because she's good at making me feel like she cares about me and I'm a sucker for her.
Anyway, the second important development, which happened right after I got her email, was that this therapist I called last week called me and said she had a cancellation for tomorrow morning so she can see me. We have an appointment at 10:30.
I'm a little scared now. Do I tell my T? I know she will be mad. I've done this before. She will have wanted to know about it beforehand. Well, at least maybe this new T can help me figure out what to do. I wish we had more than 45 minutes to talk about this. It feels huge.
I'll keep you all posted. Thanks again for your insight.
poster:crushedout
thread:409442
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20041026/msgs/409544.html