Posted by Shortelise on December 7, 2005, at 1:39:22
In reply to Re: it does kind of hurt though » Shortelise, posted by daisym on December 6, 2005, at 23:18:48
I don't feel like I love my T though. I don't like the word in context with him. It's so ... other, what I feel about him.
Ok, here's where I go with that. How can I love a person I hardly know? I mean, I grew to love my husband. The falling in love thing happens, but getting to know him is what made me love him. My T is this guys who sits in a room and tries to see thing from my perspective, who is kind to me, who is there for me. He never f*rts or yells at me, or watches TV when I am trying to ask him something. He sits and pays attention, listens, is as empathetic as he can be, and sympathetic. I don't know what how he treats waiters, what he's like when the pharmacist can't find his prescription, or what his table manners are like.
For me to love him, well, it's kind of ... absurd, and shallow. I don't know him. I simply don't know him. And of course he is gratifying to be around - he is very good to me, and cares about me in a way I have come to depend on.
I don't feel I can actually love him, but I only love the facet of him I know, the one that feeds me, emotionally and has little to do with him as a person.
What I think I love is being understood, being heard, listened to, and treated kindly. The man who does these things I like, but it's what he does for me that I love.
Everyone who read my post that started this thread assumed that I was saying that I love my therapist. I didn't say that. But everyone assmued that was what I meant - or so it's seems from reading these responses. It's interesting.
I struggle with this. And no (I hear you asking) I have never discussed it with him. The idea makes me start to cry.
ShortE
poster:Shortelise
thread:586134
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051206/msgs/586346.html