Posted by Dinah on December 9, 2005, at 16:48:17
In reply to Dinah, posted by one woman cine on December 9, 2005, at 10:13:13
I think whenever I lose anyone, it brings up all the other losses I've ever had.
I've been seeing my therapist for well over ten years. He's been the sturdiest leg in my stool of support, so I felt free to lean on him. He was ok with my scheduling extra sessions when I was having a hard time. He got me through postpartum depression, the loss of my father, and all sorts of other rough times. It hasn't been easy to form this relationship. I've invested serious emotional capital in what I call "fighting to relationship" as two very different people sought to form a strong intimate therapeutic connection.
It's been rocky since Hurricane Katrina, as he's seemed to desert me a bit. Which is admittedly not his fault, but it still feels like abandonment.
We were just getting to a new sort of equilibrium, and I was just maybe beginning to think that perhaps I wouldn't necessarily lose him.
And then we get the news, or not quite news, more pre-news, or warning that news will be coming, about my husband's job. :(
I think if I lose him, it will be *him* that I will grieve, even if his loss brings back memories of other losses as well. It's a significant long term relationship in its own right.
I've from time to time gotten adjunct therapy from different therapists, and I've tried seeing two therapists in the time he's been gone lately. I think the one thing I learned from all that is that I don't just need therapy, from any therapist, so much as I need my relationship with him.
poster:Dinah
thread:587044
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051206/msgs/587493.html