Posted by JenStar on January 3, 2006, at 23:02:41
In reply to trauma and cycles in the present, posted by alexandra_k on December 31, 2005, at 18:57:04
hi alexandra,
I don't think you are doomed to fall into that destructive cycle. It's so positive that you recognize patterns in yourself -- "asking" others to mistreat you, and treating others with mistrust. Because now that you see it, you can change it.I truly believe that each of us CAN change our own behavior. Sometimes changing behavior leads to mental changes, which seems hard, but works.
For example, a shy person can take speech coaching lessons and practice looking people in the eye. She's still dying inside, but acting the part of a successful communicator, and over time it gets easier, until it "becomes" her.
And I think you can do that too, although it might be harder, if you practice the behaviors that demonstrate the attitude you want towards others, and from others.
So I think it's not necessary, or even a good idea, to try and mimic the original trauma. You already lived it once, and know it in your heart. I think it's better to move forward with intent to heal, intent to change behaviors, and intent to reconnect with people in a new way.
What do you think? Is that all junk, or does any of it seem like it might be useful?
I hope you find a way to dow aht you want to do.
take care,
JenStar
poster:JenStar
thread:593810
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20051229/msgs/595024.html