Posted by littleone on January 10, 2006, at 13:59:52
In reply to Re: My Comfort Book trigger » littleone, posted by daisym on January 9, 2006, at 16:18:00
I'm sorry I was such a mess yesterday morning. I'm feeling a bit better now. The posts from you and gg and falls helped a lot. And I'm sorry I was so upset about Babble. The no one likes me thing is such an old and deep hurt. Very ingrained. It makes it very hard for me to see the truth about a situation. Even now I still believe what I wrote, but at least now I can keep some of the reasons in mind and try to act as if it isn't true.
And I feel so bad for saying that stuff about Babble. I try to never say the no one likes me stuff because then people feel obligated to respond or act as if they do. And having people obligated to like me is another old and deep hurt.
But I am feeling a bit better now. I'm even able to look through my comfort book now. And I must say I was pretty flabbergasted that it *did* comfort me. I really didn't expect it to work.
I feel truly honoured that my post has a place in your comfort book. Is the photo of your T a colour photo? If so, you could probably try getting a colour photocopy at a print shop or even take it to a photo place to get scanned and copied. You'd probably end up with a better quality reproduction which won't cost you very much at all. Your post reminded me that I don't have any pictures of my cat in my book which I will definately have to correct quick smart.
In my comfort book I've written down things I believe when I'm well, but that I don't believe when I'm unwell. eg telling myself to journal, that writing really does help with the feelings, that my T really does care about me, that feelings don't last forever, that cutting off bad feelings cuts off the good ones too, that I should draw if I can't find the words, that you are never bad for feeling a feeling.
I also found some good little snippets of wisdom on the musing archive pages of this site:
http://www.forthelittleonesinside.com/
I didn't read all the articles, I just printed out the little boxes with the snippets.
I put in a list of things to do when I have empty weekends.
I put in a list of things to do for a young part. And everything is written in really bright colours. And I draw some of the nice things in there.
I put in photos from my hikes and bird photos and a decomposed leaf I picked up on a hike.
And I put in lots of photos of my T. Plus I'll scan some of the notes he's given me in the past and put those in too.
Thanks for your ideas re coping while my T is away. I'm very torn over your idea of keeping in touch every day. Part of me loves it and part of me is terrified. Partly terrified of hurting you if I withdraw or do a pseudo runner. I don't think I would be very healthy for you. My withdrawal defences with your abandonment issues. People probably have good reason for not liking me.
I could probably give it a go, but please don't feel like you have to. You can pull back at any time. I'll understand.
And I don't mind which parts of you respond. I think you're a very special person. All of you, not just this part or that part.
poster:littleone
thread:596313
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060110/msgs/597591.html