Posted by littleone on January 10, 2006, at 14:40:30
In reply to Talking about anger, posted by daisym on January 9, 2006, at 19:39:07
For some of us, anger is very difficult.
Showing him your angry writings is a very good start. It allows the anger to be brought up and talked about without the feelings being right there with you both which would probably be too threatening to start with.
Just recently my T was apologising very gently to me for something and I felt this huge ball of anger rush up and almost overwhelm me. It almost spewed out all over him, but I was able to hold it in and I pulled away from him instead.
I wrote about it for him and in that I realised that it would be a sign of progress if I could actually let the anger out at him instead of pulling away. And I asked him if he was worried that he knows that one day that intensely vile hatred was going to spew out at him.
He was so good about it. He *wants* to see my anger. He's not afraid of it at all. He never takes his clients' anger personally. It's always something valuable to work with. He really would love to see me let that vile rage out. At him.
And we all know you have the best T daisy :) There's no way he'll let you down or kick you out over this. I know your T would love to see your anger/rage as well. I bet he would even be proud of you for taking such a big step.
But that is a big step (to actually let it out) and you don't have to take that step today. You just need to take a smaller step of showing him what you wrote when you were angry. Still very tough, but do-able.
Your anger won't change how he feels about you. It won't change how he acts with you. It won't drive him away. He won't kick you out. He won't get angry back. He won't punish you. It won't hurt his feelings.
What it *will* do is help you a lot.
poster:littleone
thread:597312
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060110/msgs/597606.html