Posted by littleone on January 13, 2006, at 0:00:38
In reply to Re: Talking about anger » littleone, posted by daisym on January 10, 2006, at 15:50:58
> But in some ways it seemed very adolescent to me, "this is what you did wrong, and this, and this."
I don't know about you, but I have a lot of people problems. So when I tell him that he did this and this and this wrong, it gives him a chance to talk about it which helps me understand other people a little better. It also helps to demonstrate false beliefs I may have.
But there's a much bigger thing with this. My T has explained to me that there are three types of thinking: concrete, functional and abstract. For example, if you were describing a cow, concrete thinking would be "it has four legs and a tail" (stuff you can see), functional thinking would be "it eats grass and produces milk" (stuff it does) and abstract thinking is "it's an animal/mammal" (I think this is more conceptional ideas stuff). Little kids can only think concrete thoughts and as you get older you progress to functional and abstract thoughts as well.
So when you point out that your T did this and this, that is probably concrete thinking and at a guess I would say it is a younger part of you thinking it. And I'm not sure, but I think a part of therapy is to help the younger parts progress to learn functional and abstract thinking.
But I have no idea how that is supposed to happen.
> Aren't we supposed to own our reactions and protect our own selves from hurt?
I don't think I understand what you mean by this. Can you explain it more?
> I think you are right, our therapists would love to see our rage and anger But I can't picture me ever raging, at least not out loud. I rage pretty well on the page.
When you started therapy, could you picture yourself bawling in front of your T or clinging desperately to his talisman? If you can rage on paper, the rage is there inside you. I don't know if you have to "rage" at your T to progress, but I do think you'll have to get angry at him. And probably more than once. I guess it would be often enough to learn that it's not the monsterously horrid emotion we currently think it is.
> The hardest part about feeling these feelings is not knowing what to do with them. I keep thinking about Antigua and her bat. Maybe I need to get one.
My T suggested hanging a rug over the clothes line or fence and hitting it with something. I never did though. Neighbours. Plus I think that hitting something in a rage is a bit too triggering for me.
poster:littleone
thread:597312
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060110/msgs/598564.html