Posted by B2chica on May 23, 2006, at 11:56:21
In reply to Re: scared of going to the hospital *trigger* » B2chica, posted by llrrrpp on May 23, 2006, at 11:31:08
((((((((((((((((((((((((((llrrrpp))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
extra hugs for you dear one.
i know it's scary to think of telling your T your plan. don't force yourself...only if you can. maybe give him a brief overview, or a general idea if you can. if not, just let him know that you do have a plan but you can't talk about it.
and your comment was >>what if it doesn't work and i wind up like....
remember that comment. because it can happen. i work in a field with people with disabilities and i see unfortunately many many folks that have failed suicide attempts that are now dealing with many brain injury issues. i don't want to scare you i just want you to know it does happen. not all are completions.now. i understand totally about your fear of going into the hospital and having that be the way your family finds out. in fact that's exactly what happened to me. i told my husband i had 'anxiety (which i did) but not bipolar, not about the depression. well, it got so bad that i was bawling so hard i couldn't see the computer screen at work and i wanted to die. i took out all my pills and my knife. but luckily i made two calls. one to my pdoc who told me to go to the er and one to a very good friend here at work. he came down, saw the mess i was in, took my pills and drove me to the hospital.
my husband got a call, he came and was scared and overwhelmed but he got through it. he was the one that told my parents. So long story short. it took my going to the hospital for my family to find out what was going on with me. if i'd had it my way NO ONE would have ever known. it was a bumpy ride but i'm glad my hubby knows. and i don't mind that my family does. but you know what. i'm also glad i was in the hospital when they did find out. that way I didn't have to be the one to deal with them, my husband and nurses did. and even a PA one time. i couldn't deal with seeing my folks any longer and the PA came in to run some basic questions and he asked about them being here. i started to cry and said i'd had enough but i couldnt tell them to leave...he did it for me. :^)
i guess my point is. it IS scary. not just for them. but for our dear llrrrpp also. and THAT is what you need to concentrate on. if you are there you can choose to tell the nurses if you do NOT want to see anyone or if you want them to tell them for you what is going on.and you are NOT a crybaby. you have bottled up emotions that are tearing you up inside and you NEED to let them out. if it's by crying...then let it be niagra falls!!!!
and if you want to hide you can ALWAYS go to muffly's cave and hide with her little one. and right now my little one might be in there too. she's hiding and quite well. she's just too vulnerable right now.
as you are.
you need to be taken care of when your pain is greatest. maybe letting your family know would be a good thing?
would they be supportive or helpful? it may be a little rocky at first but after that?
i can't say for sure. you are the best judge of that.do what you need to do for you llrrrpp.
we care about you.b2c
poster:B2chica
thread:647225
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20060517/msgs/647289.html