Posted by DAisym on June 30, 2007, at 1:29:12
In reply to Re: Struggling with the concept of Need » DAisym, posted by TherapyGirl on June 29, 2007, at 21:09:45
The discussion of need was drowned in the wake of a traumatic group session. I was so upset and then I was so mad -- and then just plain terrified that there was no room to continue the discussion. There was a disconnect between us,not because of something he did, but just because I was feeling so freaked out. He tried to repair things on Thursday -- asked me what I needed to get reconnected. I told him I needed the spiral speech, so I could believe that even if I've been here before, it is OK - that is how therapy works. Instead, he went back to Tuesday and talked about the good things we identified. He said since we both value those things, why would I push myself to "get over" those things - doesn't that seem silly? I tried to explain that those were great things to appreciate if one didn't need them to the point of falling apart without them. Most of the time I "need" him - or I need whatever it is he does for me so much it hurts.
Ironically, I'm pulled away right now. I feel very sad and alone but it isn't about him. Weird, given all this discussion this week. Thank you all for sharing, I'm sorry so many of us struggle with this. And it helps to hear that some have figured out how to be OK with needing. There should be a handbook about that.
poster:DAisym
thread:766025
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070628/msgs/766822.html