Posted by OzLand on July 20, 2007, at 22:09:15
I was tired when I got home from work, and I read emails and then looked at Babble and wrote some things and in one tended to ramble on about all sorts of things. Then I went to deal with some emails from my UU congregation, and I am on the Board and chair of planning social events, and, and, and. It occured to me when I read some of the emails that there sure is a lot of conflict and manuvering and manipulating behind the scenes. My husband has complained of this, but I like some of the women who have become friends. So, I see before me how things really are with all the conflict, and maybe they just wanted me on the Board to be a rubber stamp, and maybe they thought we will let me do all the work to plan social activites. We are very small; only 65 members and we have visiting presenters for services, etc. Even my husband has presented. I missed one of his becuase I did the damn ECT.
So, now I feel like crap and want to cry and think what is the point of living. Don't worry anyone; I have no intention of killing myself. I just feel like I want to crawl in a hole and hide away for a week or two. How can this be to feel so different in just a couple of hours. No wonder my T/pdoc thinks I should consider more meds. I could really take my self down and down and down some more very fast. Damn; maybe I should try the lithium and abilify. I can't take the Resirdal he wanted me to take as I had a very bad experience with a low dose of it a year ago, and he does not want to give me something that will be sedating. I think I will email him and explain that maybe we should consider the extra meds besides Parnate. Or maybe I should just sleep on it and see how I feel tomorrow. Sorry for the crappy all of a sudden mood.
Ozland
poster:OzLand
thread:770823
URL: http://www.dr-bob.org/babble/psycho/20070714/msgs/770823.html